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Vote

Love, and you spell it ... never mind
1(4.2%)
With such fabulous rides as ExtenZe Mountain Erection, Drunk-dial Tilt-a-whirl, and the Ferris Wheel of Unending Catholic Guilt.
4(16.7%)
I've never seen a theme park that looked more like a prison camp
2(8.3%)
Still better than EuroDisney
5(20.8%)
To get on any of the rides, you must be this (*)(*) big or ------- this long. Sorry, masterbating is only allowed in the non-married zones located around the park.
4(16.7%)
Come and see real big American penis!
0(0.0%)
Him: First date FOR THE WIN! Her: FAIL!
1(4.2%)
STD plague destroyed loveland. Then, it was infested with flies.
1(4.2%)
C'mon honey! Let's go on the Bukkake Flume!
6(25.0%)
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Vote

What the Vice President meant to say was ...
0(0.0%)
I hate it when he tells this story
3(12.0%)
Joe Biden just realized he left the stove on.
3(12.0%)
Why the fuck did I take this job again?
1(4.0%)
I can NOT believe he just told everyone about the bunker underneath my house.
1(4.0%)
"Geez, and people usually assume I'm the one who's going to say the dumb thing!"
1(4.0%)
I knew I should have had that V8
3(12.0%)
Secret Bunker is supposed to stay secret, why do I forget these things!
1(4.0%)
"I'd like to introduce Joe the Plumber...um I mean Bidden..."
3(12.0%)
One second before Joe Biden rips off his mask and reveals he's actually the graveyard caretaker, just like those meddling Mystery Machine kids always suspected.
2(8.0%)
Obama replaced by different black man. White people all over the country fail to notice.
7(28.0%)
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Vote

Tramp Stamps Unite!
2(7.7%)
Carla was inordinately proud of her tramp stamp.
0(0.0%)
OK. Snap on 2, and remember, let's have some dignity out there.
11(42.3%)
so we wrestle in the mud and whomever has the tramp stamp wins!
1(3.8%)
For any man, this will not end up being good.
1(3.8%)
Okay, 11, you pull down your shorts and I'll throw it to number 1 here!
0(0.0%)
Ok, act like total prostitutes on three. Ready, BREAK!
0(0.0%)
The girl with the biggest tramp stamp wins!
0(0.0%)
OK - We go with a tramp stamp sweep right fakeout. Sue, you run right, backwards, and your tramp stamp'll attract the boys on the other team. We'll have Liz here run left and be free and clear to the endzone. OK - ready - BREAK!
1(3.8%)
Team Tramp Stamp plans next trip to the Mall
1(3.8%)
Trampstampathalon. Nobody wins, even when everyone gets laid.
2(7.7%)
This is what happens when you tell a blonde to find you some grass
7(26.9%)
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"I don't get it, all I asked her was if she wanted to sleep with me!"



Submitted by offbalance




Henti after tentacle rape is outlawed.



Submitted by azuzil
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May 11: Spc. Zachery Boyd, far left, wore 'I love NY' boxer shorts in a fire fight with Taliban militants after rushing out of bed to join his fellow platoon members.

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Vote

A string theorist's wet dream.
1(5.6%)
This picture makes more sense than the LOST season finale.
2(11.1%)
Henti after tentacle rape is outlawed.
5(27.8%)
Tube Men: Archnemeses of The Blue Man Group
3(16.7%)
It's hard to believe this is what the swine flu virus looks like
0(0.0%)
I'm tellin' you, it would have been easier to hire Industrial Light and Magic than to try this on our own.
3(16.7%)
The audience in Birmingham, Alabama never understood that this stood for a very naughty act!
0(0.0%)
Dr Octogon's retarded children
2(11.1%)
In the future, this is the safest way to give someone a hug.
2(11.1%)
They're messy when it comes time to wipe.
0(0.0%)
Safe sex has been taken to a whole new level...
0(0.0%)
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Vote

You're offering *how much* for me to hang out with you for the rest of the night?
0(0.0%)
I'm the new Anna Nicole? HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, wait...
1(6.7%)
I'm the Leprechaun!
2(13.3%)
"I don't get it, all I asked her was if she wanted to sleep with me!"
5(33.3%)
"He just told me he thinks I have father issues. Isn't that funny?"
0(0.0%)
See, you hockey puck! I told you chicks love insult humor.
3(20.0%)
Don, can you take my word on the "real and spectacular" part?
1(6.7%)
Ha ha ha, 12" penis, whatever old man!
0(0.0%)
Oops, I acidently pressed the loud annoying laughing button.
3(20.0%)
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...and then I said, "That's not a duck!" Get it?



Submitted by deecers






In Soviet Russia, schoolgirl molests you!



Submitted by deecers
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"Love Land", China's first-ever sex theme park.

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Vote

The Russian version of "Blossom" was a little different.
5(21.7%)
BOOBIES!
0(0.0%)
Soviet breast augmentation techniques largely fell into disuse after the Wall came down, but they retain a few dedicated fans.
0(0.0%)
I have no joke here. I just like saying "a Defence Ministry boarding school for girls".
1(4.3%)
Later she'll model the flowers without the jacket.
1(4.3%)
Since Chernobyl our women sprout lace from their bosum once a month
2(8.7%)
In Soviet Russia, schoolgirl molests you!
11(47.8%)
Flower Boobie Pigtails!
0(0.0%)
I shall call this one Loofa-Tits
2(8.7%)
You can't tell in the picture, but they're singing "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
1(4.3%)
Simon was speechless.
0(0.0%)
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Vote

Matt Lauer's mother's day present.
1(7.1%)
...and then I said, "That's not a duck!" Get it?
6(42.9%)
WTF is in Matt's right hand?
3(21.4%)
Hey, you wanna twitter?
4(28.6%)
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The Turbanator



Submitted by king_duncan
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Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin sings along with a schoolgirl in Moscow during a visit to a Defence Ministry boarding school for girls

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Vote

This cocconut milk better not get in my beard, I just coloured out the grey!
1(6.7%)
Spaceballs, version 2.0
1(6.7%)
Oh, we've got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts ...
3(20.0%)
Manny Ramirez takes up a new sport.
1(6.7%)
I bet this is the only caption that doesn't mention Gallagher... oops
1(6.7%)
Dear Indian Cricket Board, this is NOT how you play American baseball! Sincerely, Bud Selig
0(0.0%)
The Turbanator
5(33.3%)
BRAINS!
0(0.0%)
They used to call me Crazy Joe. Now they can call me Batman!
1(6.7%)
You think this is bad? Before we got baseball bats, they used swords . . .
2(13.3%)
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Hmmmm... what does this remind me of? I can't put my finger on it.



Submitted by deecers
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Vote

Haha they spelled "Glad" wrong
4(23.5%)
We'll be in my bunk
2(11.8%)
How did you know what my vaj looks like?
1(5.9%)
Double penetration wing shaped dildo, sweet!
1(5.9%)
Get the tranquilizer dart. Ellen's scented pussy!
0(0.0%)
Ellen: "Wow, I'd like to accept the golden wings for most women converted with my Wife Portia. Who'd have thought a little tongue could be such a big fuss."
1(5.9%)
And the silver vagina goes to...
2(11.8%)
Pssst—Ellen, we're here to show off *that* we're married, not *why* I married you . . .
1(5.9%)
Hmmmm... what does this remind me of? I can't put my finger on it.
5(29.4%)
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Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?



Submitted by king_duncan
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Indian officers performing Gatka, a traditional Sikh martial art, at Anadpur Saheb Gurudwara in India. Sikh police officers in Britain want the government to develop bullet-proof turbans to allow them to serve as firearms officers without having to remove their headwear

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Vote

I mever would have thought you had a tattoo there.
1(5.3%)
'Good God, we aren't going to make a bloody farthing of this thing are we?'
2(10.5%)
Show us your knickers, then!
2(10.5%)
You are one hot piece of wizened ass, my dear bint.
1(5.3%)
Why yes, ma’am, my face *is* stuck like that.
2(10.5%)
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
5(26.3%)
Please, come home with me. Anything is better than that horse Camilla!
0(0.0%)
OMG - you're even uglier than Camilla
2(10.5%)
Ah yes, so you posed naked did you? How nice. Have you met my horse faced wife?
2(10.5%)
I think I'll make a calendar even grosser than yours
0(0.0%)
So, what's your take on tampons?
2(10.5%)
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I said White Castle, not White House!



Submitted by mizcrank
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Prince Charles speaks to the Calendar Girls women who posed nude or semi nude for a calendar to raise funds for Leukemia research.

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Vote

House's man in the White House.
1(5.0%)
Kal has no time for questions. He needs marijuana now, as much of it as possible! (Like, a big bag of it)
1(5.0%)
I said White Castle, not White House!
4(20.0%)
"Okay, look off to the right and give me your... 'I want to change the world but I don't know what the hell I'm doing' pose. Ready...? (click) Perfect!"
1(5.0%)
Harold must feel like an even bigger loser now
0(0.0%)
And over there is where we keep Robobama, the giant killing-machine given to us by the Japanese. They just HAD to paint Hello Kitty all over the damn thing.
0(0.0%)
We are ... the THREE AMIGOS!
3(15.0%)
House's new team
3(15.0%)
Man, that White Castle delivery is taking forever.
2(10.0%)
Lex Luther's surviving henchmen from Superman Returns await his bid for the White House
1(5.0%)
Hey, look there is a stag party over there at that liquor store.
4(20.0%)
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We're here for the stag party.



Submitted by grail76
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Actor Kal Penn, left, who has joined the White House as associate director in the Office of Public Liaison, stands with Michael Strautmanis, Assistant to the President for Intergovernmental Relations and Public Liaison, center, and senior adviser Valerie Jarrett

Oh..and "Kumar goes to Washington" is banned! You can do better than that! (but i know i would have gotten at least 3 of them)

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Vote

We're here for the stag party.
10(47.6%)
What really killed the dinosaurs
1(4.8%)
Yes, my name really is Jane Doe! That ID is legit!
5(23.8%)
The hunters are all drunk, and their rifles are all by the door... now's our chance!!!
0(0.0%)
Yeah, can we get two longnecks?
1(4.8%)
How much for a buck?
2(9.5%)
You know you are having a bad day when you hit two deer before you get drunk.
0(0.0%)
Mama?
0(0.0%)
Oh, deer. She's started the contests back up.
1(4.8%)
Dammit Bambi be cool! "Yes I'd like a grass daiquiri to go"
1(4.8%)
Hey Verne, you think we can get us some of that?
0(0.0%)


Note: jason_bond_69, only the first letter of your entry came through :(
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And so then I said to myself "You know what would REALLY make this outfit complete? A red plaid scarf."



submitted by daemonnoire




captioncontests Series 96 Royalty is...



everyone who won in the series with1 win each!
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Vote

And so then I said to myself "You know what would REALLY make this outfit complete? A red plaid scarf."
11(44.0%)
This is my Arethra Costume. What do you think?
0(0.0%)
Aretha looked sophisticated, Ellen is...awwwww, so cute.
0(0.0%)
I have successfuly scalped Aretha Franklin! Worship me!!!!
3(12.0%)
Aunt Jemima sure has changed
1(4.0%)
Not being the humble type, Ellen proclaims herself God's gift to lesbians.
1(4.0%)
My Ellen, tis' of thee, sweet lesbo quirky, of thee I sing.
1(4.0%)
Mine's bigger!
0(0.0%)
Man Aretha Franklin really isn't aging well.
2(8.0%)
Unfortunately, the hat does not have magical powers, and Ellen still can't sing
1(4.0%)
There are some things you shouldn't try pulling off if you're white.
3(12.0%)
You don't wanta know what I did to get this hat from Aretha.
0(0.0%)
This hat deserves R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
1(4.0%)
One present you shouldn't unwrap this year.
1(4.0%)
Come on, give big mama a hug,,,,
0(0.0%)

...or

Guess where I spent the night?
9(69.2%)
And this is why Ellen needs to stay butch
1(7.7%)
The only way to make a cross-bow uncool
1(7.7%)
Ellen upgrades up to the light speed ETVista Communicator
0(0.0%)
R.E.S.P.E.C.T! Find out why you don't get any!
0(0.0%)
And just think Portia de Rossi loves me no matter what I do.
1(7.7%)
What? The queen ain't got nothing on me.
1(7.7%)
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Spring break in Moscow really leaves a lot to be desired



Submitted by zarchasmpgmr
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vote

"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to drink," just isn't as scary.
5(17.2%)
Bath Time: Now Even More Fun!
1(3.4%)
Spring break in Moscow really leaves a lot to be desired
8(27.6%)
So that's how they got past the Berlin Wall...who knew?
1(3.4%)
Our SEALS are braver, but theirs are more fun!
5(17.2%)
This Watersports Party was not what I expected
1(3.4%)
Why does this surprise anyone?
2(6.9%)
Who needs the Sun, I have WODKA!
2(6.9%)
And we wonder what former Enron executives are doing now.
1(3.4%)
Improv Everywhere goes to Russia
2(6.9%)
Water Water everywhere and not a drop to pee in
0(0.0%)
FISH IS THIRSTY!!! GLUB GLUB
0(0.0%)
Hell of a bender, to get from the Russian border to the middle of Moscow without sobering up . .
1(3.4%)
And he thought he was joining the Polar Bears for their annual swim.
0(0.0%)
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Laura Bush wrote her first piece of slash fiction later that day.



Submitted by offbalance
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vote

Just to let you know, I didn't flush before I left
1(2.6%)
Laura Bush wrote her first piece of slash fiction later that day.
10(26.3%)
Don't Make Me Go WITH HER!!!
2(5.3%)
Your coat's more absorbent than those Puffs Plus tissues Laura keeps handing me!
0(0.0%)
Bush "Thank God it's over." Obama, "I agree."
3(7.9%)
Bush sinks his fangs deep into Obama's flesh, thus passing on the undead curse of the Presidency.
3(7.9%)
Why does Laura keep saying 'once you've had black, you'll never go back?'
2(5.3%)
I wish you good luck. And I mean it. Good luck cleaning up the dump I took on your new desk.
1(2.6%)
Laura Bush looks on as W tries to pick Obama's pocket
1(2.6%)
Bite your tongue. Think "Good wife, good wife," bite your tongue.
1(2.6%)
Mission Accomplished.
1(2.6%)
*snif-whimper* I'm SO glad you're here!
2(5.3%)
Don't leave me alone with her!!! She'll EAT me now that I'm no longer any use!
3(7.9%)
Well that was a disappointment. You don't smell anything like Chocolate.
7(18.4%)
Don't tell anybody, but I'm happy I'm gone too.
1(2.6%)

...or

Laura: Nyer nyer. We got the boom, now you're stuck with the depression.
0(0.0%)
I wish I knew how to quit you.
3(60.0%)
:whispers:: No, George, it's only black power if you're BLACK.
1(20.0%)
George Bush finally gets to meet Tiger Woods. Unrelatedly, Barack Obama was inaugurated yesterday
1(20.0%)
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Apparently the 72 virgins are invisible



Submitted by plizak




You should see the Dick Cheney bidet.



and

It's nice to know that George Bush has finally found a job he's qualified for.


Submitted by plinko and deecers





Naw, folks, Sarah Palin deserves all the credit for getting Obama elected.



Submitted by drbear
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A Russian Border Patrol Serviceman drinks vodka while lying in a fountain in a Moscow park

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Vote

I present to you... the Sleeping Mime!
6(18.2%)
Naw, folks, Sarah Palin deserves all the credit for getting Obama elected.
8(24.2%)
This is how old I am in dog years.
2(6.1%)
Cellophane, Mr. Cellophane, shoulda been my name...
3(9.1%)
No no, his is at least this much bigger than mine.
2(6.1%)
Let's give a big hand to the best use of bow ties since Orville Reddenbacher.
4(12.1%)
McCain previews his new mime act. Losing the election was hard on the old guy.
1(3.0%)
Don't thank me, thank Sarah Palin for failing so hard. (It was part of the plan).
2(6.1%)
HONK HONK
0(0.0%)
John McCain shows us the title of his favorite Pearl Jam album
2(6.1%)
McCain, how much are 2 footlong subs from Subway?
3(9.1%)
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vote

Meanwhile the Bush toilet is working on taking in half the shit that came out of his mouth the last 8 years
2(5.3%)
Warning: Do not use for flushing pretzels
9(23.7%)
From the new exhibit, art that's no longer relevant
1(2.6%)
W himself thinks it's a lovely sculpture, but he's not sure what the faucet-thing on top's there for.
0(0.0%)
If we call it art, it's suddenly no longer petulant!
1(2.6%)
How do you spell relief?
2(5.3%)
Mouth open, as usual
1(2.6%)
Karma turned into both art and performance.
2(5.3%)
Anything put in there is no worse than what's come out of it.
1(2.6%)
You should see the Dick Cheney bidet.
9(23.7%)
Use only if you want to pay more taxes, and have your piss used in against suffering people.
0(0.0%)
Yeah, sure, I'd like some lemonade!
1(2.6%)
It's nice to know that George Bush has finally found a job he's qualified for.
9(23.7%)
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vote

I don't CARE how bad the old New Kids on the Block are, I paid for this... I staying to the bitter end.
4(12.1%)
This is just racial profiling....or he farted
1(3.0%)
I can't believe how much I paid for my ticket.
0(0.0%)
OK, everyone in favor of raising oil prices, say aye
1(3.0%)
Sheikh a leg- there's plenty of seats left!
0(0.0%)
Apparently the 72 virgins are invisible
6(18.2%)
Damn, that's a lot of ninjas packed into one stadium.
4(12.1%)
"Is there going to be enough room for all of those virgins?"
1(3.0%)
Foghat reunion tour, 2009
2(6.1%)
Where's Waldo?
3(9.1%)
You have no idea how hard it was for me to get this ticket.
0(0.0%)
Play, you overpaid infidels, play!
2(6.1%)
I dare this man to get up and go sit on the front row. Would Security even notice?
1(3.0%)
George Bush's first speaking tour as the former President attracts all his supporters from across the world.
4(12.1%)
HEY! DOWN IN FRONT!
4(12.1%)

...or

World's Most Devoted Fan to Victor Hanescu. (Because we all know he's not there for Andy)
1(33.3%)
Shaheed won't like it.....
2(66.7%)
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I am Neptune, God of the sea! And these are my pruney bitches!



Submitted by nswakko15
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President Bush, art urinal, by Clark Sorensen. From EXHIBIT: 'DOWN THE DRAIN' -THE LEGACY OF GEORGE W.

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Vote

Quick, send an SOS in Norse Code!
2(7.7%)
I am Neptune, God of the sea! And these are my pruney bitches!
10(38.5%)
They're trying every route to get to Obama's swearing-in
2(7.7%)
Oooooh, what a beautiful morning, oh, what a beautiful day...
0(0.0%)
New Orleans flooded AGAIN?
2(7.7%)
We all knew the Polar Bear Club was crazy, but now we have definitive proof
0(0.0%)
There should be an age limit on synchronized swimming.
0(0.0%)
Too late they found out how the fountain of youth works when its cold.
3(11.5%)
[INSERT ONTD POST ABOUT FATHER CHRISTMAS' CELLULITE HERE]
0(0.0%)
When Santa lets his hair down.
1(3.8%)
Global warming is blamed for this weekend's flooding in San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury
2(7.7%)
The members of Slint have not aged well
1(3.8%)
Toga...brrrrr....to...brrrr...ga!
1(3.8%)
If Santa had known what Mrs Claus meant when she said "let's go rest by the ocean"
0(0.0%)
Is this what you get when you cross Shakesphere with Titanic?
2(7.7%)

...or

Santa in the hot spring with his ho ho hos
7(100.0%)
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"Who's a Pretty Pretty Princess now bitches?"



Submitted by azuzil
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